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09-Jun-2017 16:11

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I meant ‘they,’ not ‘she.’” We moved on, and I changed my behavior in response; I haven’t misgendered them since.

Your partner may lose trust in you if you do something like this.

Many non-binary trans people want to be called a partner rather than a boyfriend or girlfriend.

You are in a unique position to be a support system for your partner and affirm their gender identity in ways our society will not.

It’s important to ask your partner, though, whether there are any situations in which you shouldn’t correct misgendering.

If your partner hasn’t come out at work, for example, or if their family relations are so fraught they’d rather just let the misgendering slide, you should follow your partner’s lead on how to proceed. Don’t ask about surgery or sex organs unless things are clearly going in a sexy direction Your partner’s body parts are none of your business unless you are going to touch them (with their permission). Unless your partner tells you first that you are allowed to ask questions about their body, do not ask.

If you do, correct your mistake swiftly and apologize sincerely. The more quickly and honestly you respond, the better.

On our second date, I accidentally misgendered my partner.

I didn’t even notice I did it, but when it was pointed out to me, I immediately said, “I’m very sorry.

Make sure to ask if there are any off-limits areas before you get intimate.

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This can be true for cis people with body image issues or who have survived sexual assault, so it’s a good idea to ask cis partners about this as well. Be mindful of you and your partner’s particular sexual safety needs If your partner is trans, it may not be obvious whether you can impregnate your partner or if your partner can impregnate you.Your trans partner may also have different needs when it comes to barriers for preventing STIs.



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